The team I have been coaching, and Lucas has been playing over the past four years did not survive into the spring.  It is unfortunate because this was a very gifted pool of players who were finally starting to figure out how to play together and find success as a team and as individuals.

Sadly, there were some parents who could not let go of the misconception that success is based on results.  This is not, and should never be, the case in youth soccer in my opinion.  As a coach I have never equated success with results.  Absolutely a team can have success and a win, but the two do not always go hand in hand.  A team can win a game and not have success, and likewise they can lose a game while still having success.

At any rate, a couple of parents created a toxic environment on the sidelines and by attacking me on the sidelines after a loss.  The verbal assault continued all the way to the parking lot and sadly the instigators did not take into consideration the fact that it happened in front of my son, their sons, other players from the team and slew of other onlookers.  The club did little to support me and there were no consequences for these parents which emboldened them to begin coaching and griping from the sideline even more than they had in the past.  As a result, a couple of other players and families elected to leave the team to avoid being exposed to the toxicity.  In the end, I was unable to field a team for the spring season.

Thankfully all the players were able to find a place to play soccer during the spring.  I still mourn the loss of the team, but I’m enjoying being a parent.  At Lucas’s first game for his new team I realized that I had not watched HIM play a game in nearly four years.  I do miss coaching, but I’m also enjoying the free time that not coaching affords me.  That time is being invested back in my boys as they have both asked me to help them train and improve on their off-sports days.

Youth sports in general is a bit out of control.  Less and less, parents want to joystick every aspect of their players development and it truly is detrimental to the kids.  As a parent, your jobs are well defined.  1 – Meet the financial obligations for your player to play.  2 – Get your player to games and practices on time.  3 – During games, be your players biggest fan.  Let the players play, let the coaches coach and let the referees referee.  Your kids will thank you for it.

My soccer journey has not been all that much to talk about.  I played goalie in high school and in some intramurals in college.  I was mediocre, but never really had any real training and never really dedicated time to improving my craft.  I played in some adult leagues while I was in the Air Force and recently began playing again in an indoor league.

Both of my boys have played soccer since they were old enough to join a team for their age, which I believe was about four years old.  My eldest progressed to club (or travel) soccer at the age of eight having tried out and being selected for the classic U9 team.  The local club is small and made up primarily of volunteers, from coaches to board members.  I volunteered to be the assistant coach for the team; I was one of two assistants to the head coach.

The following year the head coach’s son made the premier team and so the other assistant coach, Scott, agreed to take the lead and I continued assisting.  I learned a lot over the next two years assisting Scott: about coaching and about the game.  Sadly, after a few seasons Scott’s son decided to focus on baseball and so he gave up soccer.  As a result, Scott also moved on leaving a coaching vacancy for this now U11 team.

Prior to this development, my wife had been coaching my younger son’s recreational soccer team.  My youngest decided to try out for the club team in this, the first year he could, at U8.  If a team developed, there would be a head coaching position open at U8 also.

Both boys tried out and made teams in their respective ages. Due to some parent drama on my older son’s team, I elected to apply for the head coaching position on my younger son’s U8 team and was accepted.  By this point I had already earned my USSF E Coaching License and I had learned a LOT from Scott, so I was comfortable taking the lead on this new team.

Fast forward to today and the team I began coaching at U8 is now playing at U11.  There are in fact two teams at this age group and as the age-group coordinator for boys and premier team coach, I run tryouts for them each year. My team has a very good group of boys that are athletic, skilled and smart.  We’ve had our ups and downs over the last three years, but as the boys grow and mature they’ve begun to show that they can play at a high level.

During this time I’ve earned my USSF D Coaching License.  I’ve grown so much as a coach, but also as a person, over these five years of coaching.  I’m grateful to continue to have the opportunity to coach and build relationships with my players.

More to come…

– Mike